Do you have toxic friendships or do they causing you to grow?
The word “friend” seems to have hundreds of meanings. We have friends and followers on our social medias. There are friends, best friends, work friends, and friends we had in high school a few decades ago. The difficulty of defining who a friend is causes us difficulty understanding how we should interact with others.
Jesus describes His sacrificial relationship with the twelve disciples as friendship (John 15:12-15). That is vastly different from the digital friendships we experience today.
While we know the importance of having friendships, we can let our guard down and fall into close friendships with toxic people. Biblical friendships should support us much like our family supports us – encouraging us, correcting us, pointing us to Jesus, and enjoying life alongside us. We would all agree that we have few of these kinds of friends in our lives.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
Toxic friendships cause us to separate ourselves from Jesus, distance ourselves from others, and cause us to question ourselves. 1,000 surface level friendships will only leave you with an inch of encouragement during times of need. It is imperative that Christians understand and develop true biblical friendships. Life will bring heavy moments. We all need help carrying heavy things.
How can we know if our friendships are causing us to grow or are toxic?
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3 Signs You Have A Toxic Friendship
1. They use you.
A true friend is concerned with your well being. A fake friend is concerned with what they can gain from you. Biblical friendship isn’t based on what you will gain from associating with another person but how you can mutually serve and point one another to Jesus.
2. They are jealous.
“Ain’t nobody got time for jealous people.” – said in my East Tennessee accent. Jealousy is toxic to relationships. Jealousy is the manifestation of deep-seated insecurities and trust issues. People need community. The Bible clearly teaches that every person has a roll and benefit to the church. (1 Corinthians 12) One friend should not cut off your connection with other Jesus-followers.
3. They lead you away from Jesus.
I get it, your friend may not be leading you toward sin. They don’t try to talk you into sin. They aren’t questioning your faith. However, the real question is if your friend is leading you to walk closer with Jesus. Does your friend encourage you to walk by faith, use your spiritual gifts, pray with you, or stoke your passion for Jesus?
Now What?
What steps do you need to take to begin to develop, or strengthen, biblical friendships?
