by ChaseSnyder | Feb 20, 2018 | Discipleship
Do you have toxic friendships or do they causing you to grow?
The word “friend” seems to have hundreds of meanings. We have friends and followers on our social medias. There are friends, best friends, work friends, and friends we had in high school a few decades ago. The difficulty of defining who a friend is causes us difficulty understanding how we should interact with others.
Jesus describes His sacrificial relationship with the twelve disciples as friendship (John 15:12-15). That is vastly different from the digital friendships we experience today.
While we know the importance of having friendships, we can let our guard down and fall into close friendships with toxic people. Biblical friendships should support us much like our family supports us – encouraging us, correcting us, pointing us to Jesus, and enjoying life alongside us. We would all agree that we have few of these kinds of friends in our lives.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
Toxic friendships cause us to separate ourselves from Jesus, distance ourselves from others, and cause us to question ourselves. 1,000 surface level friendships will only leave you with an inch of encouragement during times of need. It is imperative that Christians understand and develop true biblical friendships. Life will bring heavy moments. We all need help carrying heavy things.
How can we know if our friendships are causing us to grow or are toxic?
[bctt tweet=”1,000 surface level friendships will only leave you with an inch of encouragement during times of need.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
3 Signs You Have A Toxic Friendship
1. They use you.
A true friend is concerned with your well being. A fake friend is concerned with what they can gain from you. Biblical friendship isn’t based on what you will gain from associating with another person but how you can mutually serve and point one another to Jesus.
2. They are jealous.
“Ain’t nobody got time for jealous people.” – said in my East Tennessee accent. Jealousy is toxic to relationships. Jealousy is the manifestation of deep-seated insecurities and trust issues. People need community. The Bible clearly teaches that every person has a roll and benefit to the church. (1 Corinthians 12) One friend should not cut off your connection with other Jesus-followers.
3. They lead you away from Jesus.
I get it, your friend may not be leading you toward sin. They don’t try to talk you into sin. They aren’t questioning your faith. However, the real question is if your friend is leading you to walk closer with Jesus. Does your friend encourage you to walk by faith, use your spiritual gifts, pray with you, or stoke your passion for Jesus?
Now What?
What steps do you need to take to begin to develop, or strengthen, biblical friendships?
by ChaseSnyder | Feb 12, 2018 | Discipleship, Top Posts
How do you keep your fire for Jesus burning after an event?
One Saturday evening not too long ago, Molly decided her life would never be the same. For the first time, she was truly excited about God.
During an amazing weekend, Jesus seemed to be closer to her than ever before.
- She finally felt God’s love for her.
- She let go of her guilt over past decisions and embraced what Jesus did for her.
- She developed new friendships with strong Christians.
When she headed home, she was ready to make drastic changes in her life, friendships, and habits. But by midweek, she felt herself slipping away from Jesus.
Once full of hope and excitement about what Jesus could do in her life, Molly has now settled back into her old habits and friendships. She knows life can be different, but she has lost her excitement for God.
Have you ever met someone like Molly?
Perhaps you have had the same experience as Molly – during an event you experienced God like never before, but shortly after your passion seemed to slip away.
How To Keep Your Fire For Jesus Burning After DNow
Retreats, DNows, summer camps, and events are great at sparking spiritual growth, but there must be a plan to fuel your passion when you return home.
- Discipleship is ongoing.
- Spiritual growth requires daily investment.
- Developing spiritual disciplines takes intentionality.
The bottom line: Event based discipleship does not develop disciples.
[bctt tweet=”Event based discipleship does not develop disciples.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
From my vantage point as a pastor and former staff member at a Christian camp and retreat facility, I have seen tens of thousands of people draw near to Jesus.
My hope and prayer is that those same people will continue to draw near to God when they step back into their day-to-day lives.
Four Essential Habits to Stoke Your Fire For Jesus After an Event
Maintain Community with Believers
Events force you to journey with other people who are actually seeking Jesus. If you want to maintain your closeness with God when you return to your normal life, you’ve got to make friends with others who want to do the same.
How many people in your close circle of friends are excited about God?
Maintain a Spirit of Worship
When I worked at a camp, I did a lot of mundane and seemingly unspiritual things every day. I mowed fields, used a weed eater for hours, gathered supplies, and did safety checks. But I was also continually reminded that by doing all of those things, kids would be able to hear about Jesus. That allowed me to take an attitude of worship into tasks that were not directly related to sharing about Jesus.
How can you develop a lifestyle of worship in your workplace, class, or family?
Maintain Daily Spiritual Disciplines
Events have Bible study time scheduled for you. Your typical schedule is not that kind. Everything and everybody wants your time. You have to make time for prayer, Bible study, worship, and service.
What spiritual discipline comes to mind as your biggest struggle? What steps can you take to change?
Maintain a “God is Going to Show Up” Mentality
For someone who is already a Christian, you usually go to a retreat knowing that God is going to do something. Significant time, money, energy, and planning go into every aspect of the event – it is structured to allow the time and space for participants to practice spiritual disciplines, be surrounded by people who also want to grow closer to God, and bring worship to God.
Do you usually approach life hopeful and expectant for God to work in you and use you?
[bctt tweet=”Retreats are only one aspect of your journey with Jesus. You must daily draw near to Jesus.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
Stoked: 6 Questions To Fuel Your Fire For Jesus
Because of my work with thousand who have attended camps, retreats, and events, I knew that I had to encourage people to stoke their passion for Jesus in their day-to-day lives.
That’s when I began working on STOKED: 6 Questions To Fuel Your Fire For Jesus.
Stoking your fire for Jesus is easier than you think. These six simple questions will enable your passion to burn brighter for the glory of Jesus.
Purchase it now on Amazon.
by ChaseSnyder | Jan 22, 2018 | Discipleship
“The reason we come away so cold from reading the word is because we do not warm ourselves at the fire of meditation.” ― Donald S. Whitney
Campers know the importance of making a fire. A fire provides warmth, a place to cook, light, and a deterrent for animals when you are miles from electricity. I like to gather two or three times as much firewood as I will need to get through the night. Every thirty minutes to an hour the fire will need another log or two. If we all fall asleep and no one puts a log on the fire, it will be completely burned out by the morning and you will be cold.
The book of Joshua begins with Joshua leading God’s people after Moses died. The people of Israel wandered in the wilderness for forty years because of their lack of faith. Now, the next generation is positioned to enter the Promised Land.
This is the encouragement God gives Joshua:
Joshua 1:8 – “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”
God commissions Joshua to hold firm to the Book of the Law before he leads the people into a foreign land filled with ungodly cultures. The Book of the Law refers to the first five books in our Bible, the only words of God the Israelites had up until this point in history.
God encourages Joshua to keep the Law on his lips – to read it, to meditate it, and to obey it. When potential spiritual fire extinguishers surrounded Joshua, God’s said to meditate on His word.
Careful obedience to God’s Word means that we must surround ourselves with God’s truth throughout our day. Reading God’s Word isn’t enough. There is an expectation for us to read the Bible, understand what it says, and apply it to our lives. Then, God told Joshua, we will be prosperous.
But many of us are apprehensive about the word “meditation.” Some hear the word and think about people sitting on the floor humming with their eyes closed. Others think about people who spend long hours in deep thoughts.
Many, in a desperate attempt to read more of the Bible, rush through Biblical passages. The goal isn’t how many minutes you spend in the Bible. The goal is to get more of the Bible in you. I’ve found that getting the Bible in me takes a slower and more thoughtful approach.
[bctt tweet=”The goal isn’t how many minutes you spend in the Bible. The goal is to get more of the Bible in you. ” username=”chasesnyder12″]
Meditation is essential for our spiritual growth. Everyone has been guilty of hearing the Bible taught on a Sunday morning and forgetting the passage by Monday morning. If you want to grow spiritually, you can’t just get into the Word, the words of God must get into your heart and actions.
Here are a few areas we need to meditate on throughout our day.
Meditate On God’s Word
Meditate on Truths
The Bible is truth. It contains doctrine, historical facts, and stories of transformation. Meditating on the truth of God helps us navigate a culture that places little value on truth.
Meditate on Promises
The Bible gives encouragement. Scripture can give encouragements at the right time. God’s promises will always come true. Meditating on His promises throughout your day will encourage you to live a bold and unashamed life.
Meditate on the Attributes of Jesus
The Bible tells us about Jesus. It seems as if everyone has an opinion about who Jesus is and how He would respond in different situations. Meditate on the attributes and characteristics of Jesus to more fully understand what the Bible says about Jesus.
Now What?
While there are plenty of creative ways to surround yourself with Scripture. Sure, you can change your phone lock screen, set reminders for your Bible app, place post-it notes around your house to remind you of certain passages. I’ve found that the best way to meditate on the Bible is to have spiritual conversations.
For instance, discussing the Sunday morning sermon as you drive home is an easy way to engage in spiritual conversations and internalize the morning message. Share an encouragement that you found in God’s Word that morning. Join a small group that meets regularly to discuss what they are learning from their personal study of the Scriptures.
How do you meditate on the Word of God?
by ChaseSnyder | Jan 5, 2018 | Discipleship
I’m a dad of two preschool age kids. I never knew that kids could have so much energy! It’s rare for them to not be running around at full speed.
But when they do run out of energy, my house quickly descends into meltdown mode.
See, when my kids are tired it becomes difficult for them to obey even the simplest of our household rules. That failure to obey leads to lots of drama and emotion.
You need to understand this truth if you want to walk closer to Jesus this new year. Tired disobedience isn’t a battle only preschoolers battle. When our energy runs out, so does our ability to obey Jesus.
[bctt tweet=”When our energy runs out, so does our ability to obey Jesus.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
The new year seems to offer up hundreds of resolutions to implement. Work out more. Save more money. Read 50 books. Take a walk every evening. I could go on and on. And all over those are good, substantial changes you could make.
They could also leave you exhausted.
I’m all for resolutions. But hear me out. You can’t add more items into your schedule without deleting a few things. Many resolutions fail because people fail to make time and space in their schedule for new habits.
Perhaps the greatest resolution you could make is to rest this year. Rest is one of the most overlooked spiritual disciplines. Jesus rested throughout His ministry. Daily He retreated to pray. Several times He invited the disciples to go away with Him to rest. Jesus even slept through a huge storm while aboard a small boat.
Frantically running yourself ragged for the sake of the gospel isn’t what Jesus had in mind for you. Your relationship with Christ isn’t based on how many minutes of work you can shove into your day. Rather, it will grow and thrive when you take time every day to rest and focus your heart and mind on Jesus.
Our culture teaches us to wait until big events or holidays to make changes. Why do we wait until January 1 to make major changes in our habits? January 1 isn’t any better for making changes than a random Thursday in October. Rest is important to Jesus, so it’s something we have to prioritize right now – not in some hypothetical future when conditions might be better to rest more.
Exodus 20:8-11 tells us that God even rested after creating the world. Instead of continuing to work and enjoy the creation He had just made, He rested.
Here are some ways you can implement a resolution to rest:
Take a Sabbath.
Seriously. I know you will write this one off, but don’t forget that it is one of the 10 Commandments – even listed before the command to not murder… Take a look at your current Sabbath (probably Sunday when you go to church) and be honest about the amount of activities you do that day that you can categorize as rest versus the amount of activities that are really acts of busyness or work. Commit to removing one or two of the busy/work activities and replacing them with rest.
Have an electronic curfew.
Getting enough sleep is important to your spiritual and physical health. Decide right now what bedtime is best for you and your schedule, and set an alarm for yourself at least an hour ahead of that time to put away your computer, phone, iPad, TV, etc.
Look over your schedule weekly.
If you are married, do this with your spouse. When you are sure you’ve wrapped your head around all that you need to do each week, ask yourself how much rest you will get that week. And then reassess. Cut out an activity, figure out a way to get something done faster, or ask for help from your spouse or a friend.
Say no.
I would guess that you could say no to 90 percent of the opportunities that come your way and still be plenty busy. Give yourself permission to say no to things that just fill up your schedule so you can say yes to the things that are most important.
We all need a rhythm of rest in our schedules. If you regularly find yourself talking or thinking about how busy you are, then these challenges are for you. I pray you will accept the challenge and seek out how rest can change this year for you!
by ChaseSnyder | Dec 5, 2017 | Discipleship
If you attended church any time from the 1990s to today, I’m sure you have heard the term “accountability partner” thrown around.
Growing up in the early 2000s, I was told by several of my youth pastors that I needed an accountability partner. That sounded great and all, but I had no idea what an accountability partner was or what they were supposed to do. The only picture I received was that you pick a person who you regard as spiritually mature and you meet together a few times a month to confess all of your sins from that week. You may have received a different picture, but this is how an accountability partner was conveyed to me. Don’t pick a friend, but pick someone spiritual who can ask you hard questions.
That didn’t settle well with me.
So…We Just Confess Our Sins?
Like many Christians, I thought the idea of having an accountability partner was awkward. To clarify, the awkwardness didn’t come from the added level of accountability and support to grow spiritually. Don’t get me wrong, we need people to help us establish guardrails in our lives. The Old and New Testaments talk about establishing guardrails and seeking after wisdom. The prophets preached repentance and guidance. Proverbs instructs us to walk in wisdom. Paul reminds us in the Book of Ephesians to walk as those who are wise.
I’m not against a person needing transparency, accountability, and correction. I simply believe there is a better way to go about this than establishing an “accountability partner.” I didn’t want to have an extra person in my life who wasn’t my friend but got access into my life. I didn’t need a fake friend. I needed true friendships. Gaining an accountability partner felt like I was settling in my friendships. Separating deep conversations from my current friends and only discussing that with an accountability partner felt like I was missing the point of true friendship.
Build Biblical Friendships
When I moved to college I realized that the need for an accountability partner could be fulfilled by having biblical friendships. You need real friends. You do not need “yes men” who will not question your dumb decisions. You do not need hype people who only exist to make you happy. You need gospel-centered friendships with people who are growing in their faith.
[bctt tweet=”You need gospel-centered friendships with people who are growing in their faith.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
True friends are better than accountability partners.
True friends will help you grow spiritually. True friends will ask you hard questions. True friends will encourage you to take steps of faith.
Many young adults make the mistake of surrounding themselves with hundreds of shallow friendships and fail to develop a few deep friendships. There isn’t anything wrong with having plenty of friends. Problems arise, however, when you don’t have a few key friendships that are strong enough to look out for your best interests – even if it means having difficult conversations. Biblical friendships are better than accountability partners because your desire is to see both of you grow in Jesus – not just keep you from a specific sin.
Proverbs repeatedly teaches about the benefits of quality friendships. And Proverbs Chapter 27 is a goldmine of wisdom about friendships.
- Proverbs 27:5-6 “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
- Proverbs 27:9 “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”
- Provers 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
Gospel-centered friendships will serve as a guardrail in your life in ways an accountability partner can’t. How? Your friends see you more than an accountability partner would. It is easy to lie during one monthly meeting. On the other hand, you can’t hide your behaviors and struggles from close friends. The closer the proximity, the greater potential for accountability and discipleship to occur. We all need people who can speak into our lives on a day-to-day basis. Those true friendships will shape our lives more than an accountability partner ever could.
So, How Do I Create Gospel-Centered Friendships?
1. Strong friendships are built on trust, proximity, and common beliefs. You can’t talk to a person once a month and expect to be close friends. Friendship is stronger as you spend time together. And as a guy, we are the worst at this. Once we graduate college we forget how to hang out with other guys. Start looking for ways to invite friends into the activities you are already doing – eating meals, watching sporting events, weekly small groups.
2. Begin having deeper conversations with your friends. You will notice if these friends are open to talking about real issues and struggles or if they shy away from being real. By all means, slowly walk into deeper conversations – you don’t have to air all of your laundry and beliefs at once. But be intentional to bring up faith topics. Start by getting involved in a small group in your local church and see what friendships develop from there.
3. Realize not all friendships will be deep friendships. Some have a hard time with this truth. It is OK to have surface-level friendships. That is the world we live in. Certain co-workers will never become deep friendships. Don’t stress about that. The key is to have a few deep friendships in the midst of the various levels of acquaintances and other friends you have.
Obviously, this list isn’t exhaustive. The older we get the worse we are at making friends. Remember the elementary school version of you? Most of us were comfortable enough to walk up to another kid and ask them if they wanted to be our friend. We weren’t nervous about the prospect of meeting someone new.
Along the way we have been burned, backstabbed, and ignored more times than we can count. The mess of relationships has caused us to avoid being transparent and honest with people for fear that they will one day use our vulnerability against us. We need to return to the elementary school days of seeing people as potential friends, not potential backstabbers.
[bctt tweet=”True friends are better than accountability partners.” username=”chasesnyder12″]
What If I Can’t Create Gospel-Centered Friendships?
An accountability partner is better than no accountability. I don’t know your situation, but I know that I operate better when my friends are asking me hard questions and are pointing me to Jesus. Your season of life may be full of transition and new opportunities which moved you away from your solid friendships. In the between time, you still need people to act as guardrails in your life.
The bottom line is that friendships don’t magically develop. Having Gospel-centered friendships takes intentionality and transparency. Those can be hard, but the end result is worth it.
by ChaseSnyder | Nov 18, 2017 | Discipleship
Have you had one of those half full weeks where you feel a bit off?
I’ve definitely had those weeks before. I used to think that when I felt that way I was slowly turning into a pessimist and cheating on my 100% realist ways.
Over the years I’ve come to realize that this feeling of being off my game or half empty in my fulfillment isn’t rooted in my perspective. My fulfillment is rooted in my relationship with Jesus.
Paul, the writer of Colossians, says in chapter two verse ten:
“And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.” (Colossians 2:10)
“Brought to fullness” teaches that for those of us who are in Christ, we have and are continuing to be made new in Jesus.
There are no half empty or half full Christians.
Your fullness is only found in Jesus. Any amount of longing for other things will only leave you wanting more. [Tweet “Your fullness is only found in Jesus. Any amount of longing for other things will only leave you wanting more.”]
How do we start to feel as if we are in fact “brought to fullness”? Colossians 2:6-7 gives us the answer a few verses before.
“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6-7)
Your fullness depends on your rootedness. We settle our roots and become rooted in things when we look to areas to bring us life and fulfillment. Prestige, power, money, careers, and sins are a few spots we try to root our life and schedules hoping those things will bring us life.
[READ: Things Would Be Better If…]
Oh, and don’t forget the last part of Colossians 2:10… the last part of the verse is incredible.
“He is the head over every power and authority.” (Colossians 2:10)
What does that mean for your life?
- Jesus is the head over your family and home.
- Jesus is the head over your work and career.
- Jesus is the head over your finances and giving.
- Jesus is the head over your future and ideas.
- Jesus is the head over your ambitions and dreams.
- Jesus is the head over your conversations and interactions.
- Jesus is the head over you.
There are no half full Christians. There are no half empty Christians. Jesus-followers are victors who live in Jesus’ completion and perfection.
Only a life rooted in Jesus will bring fulfillment and completion.
[bctt tweet=”Only a life rooted in Jesus will bring fulfillment and completion. ” username=”chasesnyder12″]
You must be logged in to post a comment.